Dowsing and Relationships

Written by Nigel Percy

Dowsing and Relationships

Dowsing and relationships is a subject which pops up fairly frequently. This isn't surprising, because relationships are a big issue! People want to know if they will find their soulmate with dowsing, or they want to know if the person they have met is the right one for them.

In other words, they're either asking about when and if they will meet someone, which is dowsing about the future, or they are wondering about the relationship they are currently in or wanting to be in.

Dowsing about the future is tricky. Dowsing about relationships in the future adds another layer of tricky! I'll explain why. First, the future is not set in stone for everyone. There are always possibilities and new directions awaiting any of us. The further out from the present you go, the more there are. This makes future dowsing, especially about such a broad subject as meeting someone, a really difficult task. This is doubly so for newbies at dowsing.

I'm not saying it can't be done. There are some people who can do this, but they are few and very far between.

Then, you add in the mix about having a relationship! You want one, or you wouldn't be asking. So you're going to find it really difficult to be objective about this and it's going to be hard trying to keep your emotions in check when you dowse. Guess who mostly asks this sort of question? You're right, it's newbies.

Newbies don't have the skill – yet – to ask these sorts of questions themselves, but they're often the ones doing the asking!

So, the next type of question is about current or wished for relationships, with a particular person in mind. This can be a little easier because it's not so much about the indeterminate future, but it still has issues.

Asking about relationships is not a simple, ‘does he/she like me?' or ‘is he or she the one for me?' This is where a skillfully crafted question or series of questions is hugely important.

To ask such a question you need to have it clear in your own mind what it is you are looking for in a relationship. That's going to be unique to you. How important are good looks? Honesty? Dress sense? Financial security? Sense of humor? List down all of the aspects of a person that are important to you.

Then, you can begin to dowse about how well that person matches your list of priorities. For each one dowse on a scale of 0 to 1, with 10 being absolutely perfect for you. But don't do it only for right now. Also dowse for, say, six months down the line. Things change when people get together!

Look at your answers (assuming you were able to dowse accurately in an emotionally detached mindset) and then work out what you can live with and what you can't.

Dowsing is a useful guide, but it never takes the place of real life. Use it to help you understand yourself and your needs better and that alone will be invaluable in helping you find the right person for you.

Have you used dowsing to help you in this way? If so, what success (or not) did you have? We'd love to hear about it in the comments section below.


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  1. Rajiv Sardana

    Very informative article!
    Are there Pendulum Charts for Relationships. What are the right questions to ask for someone’s marriage proposal. Can you please guide. Thanks & Regards,
    Rajiv Sardana

    • Nigel Percy

      I’m not sure about dowsing charts for relationships, although it shouldn’t be that difficult to construct your own, once you have thought about all the various types of possible relationships. As for asking questions about a marriage proposal, I’m not clear what you mean here. Are you asking about whether or not to propose or about whether to accept someone’s proposal to you? In either case, if you are uncertain you should ask yourself why that is, before doing any dowsing. Be aware of your own feelings first. Then you can use the sample questions as outlined in this article to test various aspects of a potential relationship. Hope that helps!

  2. juliette clifford

    my dowser says my husband is being unfaithful. can this be tru

    • Nigel Percy

      This is not one of the questions you should be using dowsing for. Dowsing is for questions your rational brain cannot answer. The best way of answering that question is to ask him yourself. Also, when you say ‘my dowser says’ it sounds as if it is somehow separate from you, which is not true. You are the dowser. you are making the instrument move.
      I’ve been dowsing for many, many years and I wouldn’t think of asking such a question because there is way too much emotion attached to the question. Dowsing requires a distancing, an objectivity, a non-emotional connection to the question and the answer.
      I am, of course, sorry if you feel that you have to ask such a question about your relationship, but the best way to find out what is going on is to talk, not dowse.

  3. Anine Rose

    Thank you for the article! I have the feeling a colleague is in love with me, my intuition says so but rationally I am not sure. So while dowsing I cannot ask the question “Is person X in love with me?’. Since you say this isn’t a right question? The pendulum is very very positive haha. I just want to know, because it will explain a lot of his behaviour. I am not in the position and I do not want to talk about it with the person in question since he is my boss and I am not interested in a relationship.

    Thanks in advance! Kind regards

    • Maggie Percy

      Dowsing is a tool that is meant to expand your ‘intelligence’, not a substitute for rational or social methods that are more direct and likely to be accurate. In most situations like this, I advise the person to just ask or to gently engineer a situation where it would be natural to ask how the other person feels. However, since this is your boss and you say you are not interested in a relationship, but that he seems attracted to you, it is best not to put your boss in a bad situation by confronting him; it could negatively impact the work environment.

      It is natural to be curious, and all of us have been tempted to use dowsing in ways like this. But the problem is, even if you are correct, what’s the goal of asking? Dowsing should have a goal. Getting that information should somehow allow you to improve your life. What do you intend to do with that dowsing answer? It does appeal to our vanity if someone is in love with us, but if true, how would that information change things? I think that the answer is you already know what you should do…

      My advice is don’t do anything to encourage affection you don’t want. You want your boss’s respect, not love. Do your job the best you can and act as professionally as possible. He may be going through a rough time and has become infatuated with you as a pressure release of some kind. Pretend you don’t notice and be cool. Give him time to work it out, but don’t yield to any temptation to allow him to declare himself. Visualize the outcome YOU want. If you focus on the possibility of him falling in love with you, you give energy to that outcome which you said you didn’t want. And that outcome could endanger your job.

      What do you want in your relationship with your boss and why? Make sure you focus on creating that. Don’t give energy to outcomes that could end up very negative. I sense that you are feeling a normal amount of power as you realize he is attracted to you, and all of us love being loved, and especially if we are not getting the love we want, it is easy to be drawn into an ‘illicit’ love relationship. You don’t really want that; you may flirt with the idea of him loving you, because it’s very flattering, but you know you don’t want it.

      So don’t dowse about this; that’s focusing on giving the power away. Work to create the outcome that will be best for you, which will also be best for him. That means discouraging him from having any thoughts that are romantic, even if you are flattered. Good luck!


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